Adoption is becoming more and more prevalent in the United States which makes it an issue that we can no longer ignore. “6 in 10 Americans have had personal experience with adoption, meaning that they themselves, a family member, or a close friend was adopted, had adopted a child, or had placed a child for adoption.” (Evan B. Donaldson Institute, 1997) That is quite a large number but yet these conversations are pushed to the side because it is such an uncomfortable topic.

Why is adoption so controversial? One of the biggest arguments in voluntary adoption is whether or not the child will thrive when placed into a new home. Is it possible to remove an infant from its biological mother’s arms and place him into his adoptive mother’s arms with confidence that he will go on to be the amazing human being he has the potential to be? Can the Birth Mother go on to live a fulfilling life?

All of this can depend on many factors, whether the adoption is open or closed. It can depend on the emotional state of the birth mother and the situation in which the baby was placed: was it voluntary? Was the child in danger? Was the child placed with a family member? There are many different types of adoptions we could discuss but for reference, I am honing in on voluntary open adoptions.

The biggest argument in the adoption community, “But a child NEEDS its biological mother.” Point taken, but what if the adoption made it so the child was in contact with its Birth Mother? What if “goodbyes” were never really said? Open adoptions make it so a child never has to wonder why they were placed, because all they have to do is ask!

According to a 1994 study by the Search Institute, not only does a child do well in and adopted family, they also tend to be better off than children raised by their biological parents. A few things that were also noted in the study were that adopted children in adolescence were more likely to be living with an intact, middle class, two parent family than children that were raised in their biological home. Adopted children also score higher in social performance, social competency, optimism and volunteerism.

If a child struggles so bad with needing their biological mother, why are they scoring higher and are better off than children that weren’t adopted? One of the factors of this is that many adoptions are very costly. To be able to afford adoption you need to have money. What does money equate to? Educational attainment, better healthcare, better home environment etc. The birth mother is literally placing her child into a home where she knows they will be provided for in ways that she could not.